052517

DAILY DUMBASS REPORT
with Jace Edwards

A guy in Florida with a warrant tried to hide from the cops last week by dressing like a woman.  But the dude didn’t really look like a lady . . . in fact, he looked just like STEVEN TYLER from AEROSMITH.  And the cops quickly tracked him down and arrested him.

Cops in North Carolina knocked on a guy’s door the other day.  And he immediately blurted out, “I guess you’re here about the OPIUM.”  It turned out that WASN’T why they were there, but they arrested him after they found a huge field of poppy plants in his backyard worth about HALF-A-BILLION DOLLARS.

An 18-year-old woman in England is wanted for skipping a court date for a drug possession charge . . . and people are saying she’s the most ATTRACTIVE criminal in the country.  But I’m looking at her mugshot and I’m not really seeing it. I mean she has a hottness, but most beautiful?