Sure, he has his own day. But what else do you know about the man we celebrate today by binge-drinking until we pass out in an alley? If you’re answer is “Not much,” we’re here to fix that with today’s list of the . . . Top 5 Fascinating Facts about the Actual Saint Patrick.
He’s the patron saint of acceptable stereotypes.
Even though he was Irish, he thought U2 was overrated.
He never wore green so he had an excuse to pinch himself.
His favorite NFL team? The Colts. Ha! Thought I’d say Saints, didn’t you?
According to legend, he chased the snakes out of Ireland . . . and into Congress.
His final words on his deathbed were “They found me Lucky Charms.”
He’s been dead for centuries but still looks better than Joe Biden.
He was MeToo’d for showing off his shillelagh.
He has no clue what a “Banshee of Inisherin” is, either.
He hated it when people called him “Patty.” Or when people DIDN’T call him “Patty.” My point: the Irish are temperamental.
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